Day Twenty-Seven - The Pain Nobody Could See

Things were going so well, but I was working so much that I realized I needed to start taking care of myself, too.

After sending the children to school, I started going to the gym. I had a trainer and went every day. I wanted to feel stronger and do something for me.

Then one day, while exercising with heavy weights behind my back, I felt a crunch. I injured discs in my neck and back, and what followed was a long, painful time in my life.

There were months when I could barely move. Eventually, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. The pain was constant. Some days, even touching my own body hurt.

And the depression became so deep that I had thoughts of ending my life. That’s how much I was struggling—not just physically, but emotionally.

I think that was when my boyfriend and I started drifting apart. He couldn’t understand what I was going through, and I didn’t know how to make him understand something he couldn’t see.

I was taking so much medication. Eventually, my sister encouraged me to meet a doctor on Long Island who helped me come off the medications and begin a different approach to caring for myself.

Acupuncture. Stretching. Massage. I kept trying, hoping something would make the pain go away.

But it didn’t disappear.

I began learning how to live with pain. I continued working, often hurting in silence while trying to keep everything going.

Looking back, I wish I had understood that I didn’t have to hide how much I was struggling. Being able to work didn’t mean I wasn’t suffering. Loving my children didn’t make me immune to depression. And needing help didn’t make me weak.

Sometimes the person who keeps showing up is hurting more than you know. Be gentle with them—and if that person is you, you deserve that same gentleness.

#FromPanicToPower #ChronicPain #FibromyalgiaAwareness #MentalHealthMatters #YouAreNotAlone