Day Eighteen - From Panic to Power

It Had to Be Me

Things were finally going well. I was working at the cleaning company during the day and hosting jewelry parties at night. I was earning money, supporting my children, and beginning to believe that our lives were changing.

Then the jewelry company collapsed—and my mother became seriously ill.

Suddenly, it felt as though my entire life was falling apart again.

Every day, I took care of my mother, brought her to her treatments, took my boys to school, and continued working. I have three sisters, but they had their own lives and responsibilities. At the time, it felt as though no one believed my life or my responsibilities were as important as theirs.

But this was my mother—my best friend—and I didn’t care whether anyone helped me. I was going to do whatever I had to do for her.

As the cancer continued to spread, the decision was made to place my mother in a nursing home because my sisters felt they didn’t have the time to care for her. I was sick to my stomach. I couldn’t understand how this could happen to the woman who had always been there for all of us.

But I never abandoned her.

I stayed beside my mother every day. When she was eventually moved to Calvary Hospital, I continued sitting with her, loving her, and caring for her until the day she passed away.

When I lost my mother, I lost my best friend—and I lost myself.

The grief became so overwhelming that I barely left my house for months at a time. I was deeply depressed and couldn’t imagine how I would continue without her.

Then one day, while going through some of her belongings, a question came over me:

Who is going to take care of me and my children?

That was the moment I finally understood the answer.

It had to be me.

No matter how broken I felt, my children still needed their mother. I had to find the strength to stand up again—not because the pain was gone, but because our lives still had to continue.

Reflection:
Sometimes life takes away the person who made us feel safest, and we are forced to discover strength we never knew we had. Losing my mother broke me, but the love I had for my children reminded me that I still had a reason to rise. Healing didn’t happen overnight—but realizing that it had to be me was the beginning.

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