As I keep reflecting on my childhood, trying to understand where my anxiety really started, I honestly think it may have always been a part of me.
I remember being a little girl and sometimes feeling different—almost spacey. My mind was always going.
I questioned everything.
Why are we here?
Why does the universe exist?
Why does God allow certain things?
Why? Why? Why?
I could think so deeply about things that had no clear answer that I would actually scare myself and sometimes send myself into a panic.
I was also a complete chatterbox. I never stopped talking. I probably drove my mom and dad crazy with all my questions.
Looking back now, I realize that one of my biggest challenges has always been excessive thinking.
When your mind is constantly searching for an answer, it can be very difficult to tell it, Okay, you can stop now. You can be quiet.
And when I was growing up, things were very different.
We didn’t have cell phones, TikTok, Amazon deliveries, endless scrolling, or something entertaining us every second of the day.
Sometimes there was simply silence.
And I think silence is something we all eventually have to become comfortable with.
Because when we’re uncomfortable being alone with our own thoughts, those thoughts have a way of creeping back in.
As a child, one way I naturally learned to cope was by creating.
I started designing clothes for my Barbie dolls. I would sit there imagining outfits, putting things together, and creating something from nothing.
I didn’t know it at the time, but creativity was giving my mind somewhere else to go.
Did it stop every panic attack? No.
But it became another tool.
Over the years I’ve learned that sometimes you don’t have to fight every thought. Sometimes you can redirect that energy into something that makes you feel calm, focused, productive, or creative.
For me, creativity became one of those places.
And maybe that’s why I’ve spent so much of my life creating things ever since.
Day 3 reminder:
Your mind may be powerful, loud, curious, and constantly moving—but you can learn where to place that energy.
